Thirty Seven

                                        

                                                  
Thirty Seven
                              
Calm
                              
It's strange how apathetic I'd become towards death. 
                              
Once upon a time, it horrified and terrified me, and yet now, I found it almost mesmerizing in a way... Perhaps even comforting.
                              
Sabi nila, kapag nasa bingit ka ng kamatayan, wala ka nang magagawa kung hindi tanggapin na lang iyon at huwag nang lumaban pa. To close your eyes. To try to keep a strong back and a stiff upper lip.
                              
Do not be afraid. Death comes for everyone. Do not be afraid.
                              
They say.
                              
Hindi ko alam kung bakit ngayon, nakakaramdam pa ako. My consciousness took time to fully take hold. Mabagal iyon, parang hinihila pa muna ako mula sa dulo ng mahimbing na panaginip.
                              
It was like wading through thick mud, my mind groggy and muffled as I slowly but surely drag myself into full awareness.
                              
My limbs were cold, stiff, and unresponsive at first, but gradually regaining feeling. With the fog in my mind slowly clearing, my location finally started to sink in with startling clarity, the world somehow seeming sharper than it ever had before.
                              
Slowly, I began to push myself upright, hands sinking into the seat I was at.
                              
Tinignan ko si Raze sa aking gilid at nakitang nagmamaneho siya. Pinasadahan niya ako ng tingin.
                              
My eyes widened, the feeling of panic rushed through my body.
                              
"Help!" I screamed trying to get out of the moving car but it was closed. Eyes frantically searching for anything that could help me escape.
                              
"Aia stop it!" Sigaw niya.
                              
"Razmus," Nanginginig kong sabi. My eyes were full of fear. "A-Anong ginagawa mo? S-Saktan mo ako?"
                              
"What?" Kumunot ang noo niya saka umiling. Trying his best to focus on the road by casually glancing back and forth. "Of course not!"
                              
I looked around and saw two large suitcases on the back. I'm sure that this isn't his car.
                              
Anong nangyari? Hindi ba't binaril niya ako? I scanned my body for any bullet or wounds, but I found nothing.
                              
Hindi ko maintindihan...
                              
"Bakit ako nandito? Where's Dad? Where's everyone? A-Are you taking me to jail?" Sunod-sunod na tanong ko.
                              
Ngumiwi siya sa akin. "Your Mom really had brainwashed you again, huh?"
                              
Kinuyom ko ang palad ko, trying my best to scoot over to the other side just so I wouldn't be near him.
                              
"She was right! You're tasked to take down my family, huh? Palabas lang ang lahat? Ang galing mong mangbilog ng tao! You shot me earlier!"
                              
Nag-igting ang kaniyang panga, parang nagtitimpi.
                              
"I didn't shoot you."
                              
I hissed. "Why didn't you, huh? Why! Edi sana nakuha mo na ang gusto mo!"
                              
"Stop talking, Aia." He muttered under his breath. "I'm taking you somewhere safe."
                              
I rolled my eyes. Tinignan ko ang nadadaanan naming mga palayan. Madilim na kaya hindi ko masyadong banaag iyon ngunit magaganda pa rin.
                              
"I'm only safe if I'm far from you!"
                              
Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga bago tinaasan ako ng boses. "Edi umalis ka! Ano? Buksan mo ang pinto saka ka tumalon!" 
                              
Napaawang ang labi ko saka tumingin sakaniya.
                              
"Sinisigawan mo ako?"
                              
Hinampas niya naman ang steering wheel saka mataman akong tinignan. "Tumahimik ka na lang kasi, A. You're not helping! Shut the fuck up and let me handle this for once! Stop fucking doubting me every time! We're running away!"