Original Edition: 14. The Older Brother.

                                    

                                              
Dedicated to Graciouslydontcare and Mae_roses for commenting on the last chapter and making me laugh. Love ya, girls. 
                          
- 14 -
                          
I feel horrible.
                          
Both physically and emotionally, my head and body hurt. My stomach churns and twists after all that drinking and I haven't slept a a second even though it's the morning already. 
                          
And what about Apollo?
                          
Well, he's great, sleeping like a vampire on a sunny day.
                          
My cup of coffee warms my hands. I'm sitting on the floor in front of the bed, a blanket around me. I hope coffee does something for my soul, I feel like a zombie and I'm sure I look like one.
                          
Although the physical discomfort is nothing compared to this feeling of disappointment that pierces my soul. I feel used, rejected and undervalued. It's amazing what Ares can do to me with just a few words. I know I did the right thing by kicking him out of my life, however, that doesn't ease the heartbreak and sadness in my heart.
                          
As unexpectedly as he appeared in my life, he left.
                          
The sun peeks through my small window and I remember as if it were yesterday —technically it was yesterday— when Ares disappeared through it. I can't help analyzing every moment over and over again. My poor heart-guided brain searches for gestures, expressions, hidden words that give some sort of hope that he wasn't just playing me, that he's not a jerk. 
                          
I've always known his personality isn't the best. In all the time I've watched him, I realized that. But I didn't expect him to have such cold perception of romance, that he wouldn't want a relationship, and he would view women as something to use and discard.
                          
That hurt me a lot.
                          
And I know that if I didn't have my strong convictions, I would have fallen into his trap. I would have given myself completely because I'm crazy about him. Never in my life had I ever been so drawn to someone. The things that Ares makes me feel by just looking at me leave me breathless.
                          
So I don't blame those girls who have gone through it, who have tried to change him and failed. 
                          
I sigh, taking a sip of my coffee.
                          
I'm so tired of being alone.
                          
I want to love. I want to experience everything. I want to have fun. I want so many things but I also want someone who respects me, who wants to be with me. I don't want to be anyone's toy no matter how much I like him.
                          
I put my head on the edge of the bed and my coffee cup to my side to watch my ceiling fan spin, it moves so slowly, blowing fresh air over my face.
                          
Without realizing it, I fall asleep.
                          
.
                          
Rachel...
                          
Rachel...
                          
"Rachel!"
                          
I jump, waking up, "I didn't do it! I swear!"
                          
"Rachel?"
                          
I blink to find an Apollo leaning over me. I realize I'm on the floor, rolled up in my blanket. The sun coming in through the window is already reaching me, warming my skin.
                          
I sit, rubbing my eyes. Apollo is dressed and leans back looking rather uncomfortable.
                          
"Rachel, I can't explain how sorry I am." his cheeks turn red and I smile, he is adorable. 
                          
"It's okay. We have all been there."
                          
"I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me, I had never had so much to drink before."