• (일곱). ❛ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴏᴠᴇʀ❜ •

                                    

                                              
"I want to give up my bearings, slip out of who I am, shed everything - the way a snake discards old skin."
                          
- Khaled Hosseini
                          



                          
-♦♥♦-
                          



                          
"Appa, gwaenchanha?"
                          
Jeongsan tenderly keeps his hand on his father's shoulder as he asks the question. He had just come home from work when he saw his father sitting on the sofa lost in his own world, which was pretty much unlike him.
                          
Feeling his grip on the shoulder, the older man comes out of his trance and looks towards his son. The mist in his eyes were still taking time to settle as a certain déjà vu starts to appear in flashes.
                          
It was another day just like this. Jeongsan was home early, and between their empty apartment and fairly busy lives, the father and the son got some time to reconnect, just like 'ancient' times.
                          
Talking about a lot of memories from the past, he had started teasing his son, trying to pursue him to get married soon. But after a little leg-pulling and a few red streaks of blush with the mention of his childhood crushes, Jeongsan had only replied that he didn't believe in marriages. The despair in his unwanted reply was enough for Jungkook to understand that his son had grown up.
                          
That his son had understood along the way.
                          
"Jeong-ah, I'm absolutely sure you'll find someone you'd want to spend your lifetime with. Don't push people away when you still have the chance. Be yourself; don't be afraid. You might not feel much right now, but trust me, thirty or forty years from now you'll regret your decisions."
                          
Jeongsan had already reckoned that he shouldn't have confessed that out loud to his father, even after knowing everything; even after multiple times of keeping shut and changing the subject whenever his father, and before that his mother, tried to talk to him about this. But hearing his father's reply somehow gave him the courage to open up; maybe talk to him about all the things he tried to say but never mustered the courage.
                          
Holding his father's gaze for a second, he felt Jungkook's stern eyes change into a sad conceding sigh. It wasn't usual for the two of them to talk like this. Growing up, Jeongsan had pretty much started to notice, one by one, all the cracks in their castle made of glass; no matter how brilliant the facade of a protective charm was held up all around it. They were like the ideal parents to him, always. But when reality set in, it completely broke the young man, and robbed him of any trust in love and relationships.
                          
Indeed, to the world, they were the ideal couple. To the world, even though their marriage was arranged, Jungkook was the golden husband to his beautiful wife. They had a home, they had work, they had money; hence to the world, they were the happiest. Even Jeongsan had spent his life believing the facade without a doubt.
                          
Nobody cared about what they wanted, separately. Nobody knew about that one weak night that resulted in them having their next seemingly 'best' thing - Jeongsan. But Jeongsan indeed was the only best thing throughout their puppeted-lives, and they decided never to ponder on things that were gone, forever.
                          
Unaware of this bitter truth fortunately, Jeongsan was lost in all the thoughts but quickly recovered because he had so much to say. But who knew words would be so difficult to find?