Four

                                    

                                              


                          


                          
The sun crept behind the hills as we slowly made our way south. The shadows from the fading light danced around the hearse, frolicking in the dim headlights. My knuckles tightened against the steering wheel as I drove, Sam's soft snoring drifting lightly from the passenger's side. 

                          
I didn't know if it was the waning light or everything that had happened already, but goosebumps tickled my spine at the thought of being the only one awake in the hearse after nightfall. It was insane. A grown woman freaked out by a car, but my life had been normal until this colossal nightmare entered it. I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right and I figured I might as well take it out on the elephant in the room. Or rather, the elephant I was driving. 
                          
I looked over at the man next to me. His sleeping face looked angelic in the fading light. I couldn't help the smile that invaded my soul at the sight of him. He could fall asleep anytime, anywhere.
                          
It didn't matter what else was going on around him. It was one of his most endearing quirks, even as it was one of the most frustrating. There was something childlike and innocent in the way he'd hand himself over to the gentle cocoon of oblivion without restraint.
                          
I envied that about him. If only I could let the worries of the world fall away that easily. They clung to me, even as I wrapped myself in bed, blanket deep in comfort and security. I could never be as rested as Sam even if I had the rest of my life to play Rip Van Winkle. Sleep would never be a friend of mine.
                          
Once again, my man snored happily as I watched with my contradicting emotions, happy because he could find such peace and annoyed because I really, really wanted company. 
                          
I mean, I knew he was thoroughly exhausted from our wedding night, but couldn't he manage to keep his new bride company while she tried to tame this wild beast? Was that really too much to ask?
                          
I sighed, turning my eyes back to the road. I would never wake the man next to me simply because I was feeling a little lonely. If I could do nothing but watch him sleep for the rest of my life, his contented snores dancing in my ears, then I would still die a happy woman. He was my everything and his peace brought contentment to my heart.
                          
Still, the sunlight slunk away, like a hurt animal seeking shelter to lick its wounds, and I only had my own company to ease the nervousness of my soul. And, trust me, that wouldn't help anything. My imagination and speculative nature would only add fuel to the fire of my worry. 
                          
I needed a change of scenery, something to distract my mind.
                          
Oh, who was I kidding? I needed out of that damn hearse.
                          
And, with that, I knew I was done. Once the crankiness set in, we were all doomed. I needed a nice, soft bed and Sam's warmth beside me to ease the tension that coiled every inch of my muscles.   
                          
We needed to stop. Too many weary miles traveled with an anxious heart. That's what this was. I needed to find us a port in my emotional storm. We needed a decent motel, an early dinner, and some quality time alone. No thoughts, no worries. Just Sam and me, focused on each other, for the rest of the night. That never failed to raise my spirits.
                          
The only problem was we seemed to be in the middle of nowhere and I had no idea where the next motel was. 
                          
I sighed as I leaned back into the seat, my fingers tightening once again into the steering wheel. I just had to be patient. Patient with myself and the things around me. I might have been cruising along a shadow-filled highway with nothing but trees and hills around me, but that was only momentarily.
                          
Any minute, I would find lights and civilization hidden around a corner. I could pull over, consult my phone, and find the perfect place for us to spend the night. Everything was fine. I needed to get rid of the negativity dancing through my mind. Breathe it out, expel its hold, and all that can remain is love and light.