Talisha

                                        

                                                  


                              
I got issues, but I know I miss you...
                              
Aaliyah, 'We Need A Resolution'

                              


                              
I opened my eyes to see the concerned faces of my family standing over my hospital bed. The room was cold, but welcoming from their presences.
                              
" 'Lisha, me, your nephew, and grandma here. You hear me?" Casey said. 
                              
I nodded. With my thought drifting off the health of my baby. 
                              
"It was involved in a hit and run, my baaaby. I just don't understand how someone can do such a damn thing." Mama J added in.
                              
I started to get chills just thinking back on how things happened once I pulled out of the parking lot of the donut shop. It was almost as if someone just knew the exact time to act. A grey two door Honda is all I can remember with tinted windows. The hit and run that was committed had intention. Intention to kill my unborn baby and me. This shit would have never happened if I were not so press behind seeing Malone ass in the first place. 
                              
There were two police officers standing outside of the open door to my room. I did not want to realize the traumatizing situation that I have created for my family to witness. I looked at my grandma who just shook her head. 
                              
"Mama J, I'm not supposed to be here. Nobody supposed to be here, but me and..."
                              
She sighed and looked up at the ceiling and then back down at me and said, "Who else, supposed to be here chile Ms. Dehobra Cox in the flesh, to sing the shit out for ya'? If you don't want nobody ass here then say the word instead of beating around the damn bush."
                              
"I don't have nothing else to say Mama J." I confessed.
                              
Her sarcastic old ass always blows me with comments like the one she just made. Casey laughed and said, "Cavon brought you some flowers and we are about to be heading home, sis. I got to help him with his homework tonight."
                              
My nephew smiled and placed my pink Tulips on the side of my bed. 
                              
"I love you Auntie 'Lisha." 
                              
"I love you too, now head on home and get on top of that homework."
                              
My sister gave me a kiss on my forehead and told me that she made a few phone calls on my phone to tell a few people about what happened. She blew me a kiss and walked out of the door.
                              
Malone came through the door still dress the same way he was before. He had a bouquet of pink roses and a card. I looked over at my grandma to see her blank expression. 
                              
He looked concerned as he placed his gifts on one of the side tables in my room. He kissed my forehead and looked at me deep into my eyes. We both spoke a language from our hearts that not even Mama J was able to interpret. 
                              
He looked over at Mama J with glassy eyes and said, "Thank you for calling me."
                              
"Mmmmhmmm." She answered heading over take a seat on the opposite side of my bed.
                              
"I fucking love you, yeah 'Lisha, brah." His eyes were still glassy.
                              
"I love you too." 
                              
"When I got the phone call a few minutes ago. I was about to pull up at my house and Honaray car was gone, so I was going to shoot you another message so we can kick it." 
                              
"I thought you told me when was on the phone before you came to Papa's Donuts that she was home that's why she was blowing up yo' phone."
                              
"Mane, look all that don't matter right now. You straight though?"
                              
Before I could even wrap my head around the conversation, Raymond and Charles the Project Preacher walked through the door. 
                              
Mama J stood up from her chair and said, "Na, we don't need all that mess up in ya'."
                              
Raymond looked disappointed and Charles started laughing. 
                              
Malone shot Raymond a gruesome look that had rage behind it. Raymond looked at me and said, "It looks like you have yo' future right here, so why you need me."
                              
I adjusted my bed and said, "I need you, because he just here to show love."
                              
"That's right a nigga like me just passing through." Malone said as he adjusted his fitted cap like Bryson Tiller. 
                              
I wanted to smile and be petty, but instead I kept my attention to the open door. 
                              
Charles turned his attention to the hallway as Honaray came strolling through my room with her baby in a stroller. Her son was covered in a blanket, but I been seen photos of her baby. She wore her natural hair in a high puff that showed off her facial features that Malone fell in love with. Her innocence still showed more than her curvy and thick body that was on display for eyes to see in her oversize black sweater. 
                              
She was the last bitch I wanted to see especially under these conditions. I wondered if Malone told her to come to the hospital on purpose. Could he have possibly wanted her to stunt on me? 
                              
Honaray looked at me as if she wanted to have laughed and said, "I hope you get better, Sweet Thing."
                              
Sweet Thing is what Malone calls me in text messages. If I had the God given strength to beat her ass and still be, pregnant I would. However, today just was not that day. I looked at Raymond who still stood on the side of my bed and Malone who smirked and was heading out the door with his family. 
                              
Raymond looked at me and said, "You admire what the fuck they have, enough to try to compete with that young bitch for the same nigga that left you high and dry?"
                              
His bullshit was something that I didn't want to be spoon-fed. He acted as if he was such the perfect boyfriend with no flaws. I shook my head and said, "The last thing I need for you to do is assume."
                              
Mama Jingles stood up from her seat from one of the corners of the room. Charles said, "While y'all clearing up y'all differences, I'ma go get me something to snack on. Do anybody need or want anything?" 
                              
We all shot him the answer 'no' with piercing looks. 
                              
There was a dead, cold, and empty silence that filled the room as Charles left. 
                              
"I'm not assuming a damn thing! I can see it and feel it. I don't even know why I still have love for yo' selfish ass! I just lost my got-damn daughter to a woman that I thought was going to be my wife. The same woman I was about to give my last name too. Now here the hell I am going through a part two, but it's with you." Raymond said grabbing one of my arms. 
                              
"You are not going through a part two with me Raymond. I'm trying to do what's right for me and my child."
                              
"You mean our child."
                              
I didn't want to comprehend the meaning of our child. I wanted to think clear and not to think about attachment. The same feeling of attachment to what I thought was love with Malone was the same thing that have me torn now. I guess I am still holding on to discovering a change that will possibly never happen. There is so many ushered emotions of not being good enough. I wanted Raymond to understand that I just wanted closure from Malone and nothing more.
                              
I wanted to be able to look at Malone as the same man he was those many years ago when we fell in love. That young love yo' boy Chris Brown sung about on his first album that had me as a teenager wanting to be someone's girl. 
                              
Mama Jingles walked over to Raymond and said, "Y'all both need to get shit together. Lisha, you really can't be stringing this man around like you know what you want. You still pregnant and acting like you can still be a ho.'"
                              
"Grandma, you really need to chill. I'm not any ho' or a ho' at all. I'm trying to find balance." I said mentally brushing off her comment and facial expression. 
                              
"Okay, that's what your mouth say, but your actions speak differently." 
                              
I focused back on Raymond and said, "I want for us to work, but it takes two."
                              
"If I didn't think we couldn't move forward then I wouldn't be still standing here while you said I love you with your eyes to that other nigga. I believe in you, but as for us Lisha, we a resolution."
                              
I smiled knowing he was right, but a resolution was not going to happen overnight.