chapter 40

                                    

                                              
*Trey's POV*
                          
I nervously pace my flat with my phone in my hands waiting for the knock on the door. After Louis called me and said he needed help I immediately told him to come over. He couldn't hang up fast enough. Another cough wracks my body and I can't breathe for a few seconds. I shiver hard and my head feels like it's going to explode. This cold needs to leave right now.
                          
I am pacing for a few more moments before I hear a rushed knock on my front door. I run to open it and Louis barges in, his arms instantly finding my body and engulfing me in a sweaty, smelly, amazing hug. I sigh into him and hug him back. We stand like that for a few seconds, just reveling in the moment, before I begin to pull away.

                          
His blue eyes capture mine and a slow smile splits my face.
                          
"Congratulations on your championship," I whisper. An identical smile appears on his face and he pulls me back toward him.
                          
"We couldn't have done it without your inability to remove yourself from our team." He jokes.
                          
"Hey!" I yell, pushing him while he laughs. "You know as well as I do that Angel was going to be eaten alive in midfield. Rick is such a dumbass."
                          
Louis nods in agreement and we don't say anything for a while before I am reminded of the reason he is here.
                          
"What did you need? It sounded urgent over the phone," I say and take a seat on my couch. Louis follows suit and turns to me fighting a grin.
                          
"I have some news that I think you'll enjoy."
                          
He doesn't say anything more and I am about to burst with anticipation.
                          
"Don't just bloody stare at me! Tell me what it is!" I shout.
                          
He holds up his hands and laughs. "Ok ok. John told me after the game that Arsenal and Barcelona really want me on their teams."
                          
As soon as the words are out of his mouth the air is sucked from my lungs. He's worked so hard every day of his life for this moment and now that it's here I can't breathe. I can't breathe because I know as soon as he chooses which one he wants he'll be gone and I'll never see him again and my selfish ass doesn't want that.
                          
The panic starts to rise deep inside me but I plaster a huge smile on my face and throw my arms around his neck in false excitement and scream about how proud I am of him and how either team will be lucky to have him. But internally my heart is breaking because the only person I've ever loved will leave before he knows.
                          
My eyes well up with tears and this time they're not fake. Louis doesn't realize though and wipes them away as soon as they fall. I watch his lips move but I don't hear any sound as the pressure inside me continues to build. In slow motion, I see his hands come up to cup the sides of my face and tilt my head toward him. He shakes me a little and I gradually begin to hear the words come out of his mouth.
                          
"Trey? Hey, Trey are you alright? Are you listening to me?"
                          
I shake my head to snap out of my stupor and look up at him.
                          
"Sorry? What were you saying?" I ask, my voice coming out soft and shaky.
                          
"You didn't hear a word I said did you?" He asks.
                          
I just shake my head. He looks at me for a few more moments before letting it go.
                          
"John said he's throwing me a party for my possible draft into Arsenal or Barcelona," he begins. I stay silent, carefully watching him. "It's going to be at his house, all the guys will be there, and I want you to come."
                          
I almost miss the tail-end of what he is saying because my mind is still wrapped around the idea that he's leaving.
                          
"You want me to come with you to your party?" I reiterate.
                          
Louis nods excitedly, his eyes gleaming.
                          
Immediately I shrink away. The prospect of seeing John face-to-face is not appealing and wherever he is, his lapdog Rick Felding is not far behind. "Lou, I don't think that's such a good idea..."
                          
He pulls away from me. "Why not? You don't want to support me?"
                          
Not really. No offense.
                          
"I do want to support you but I don't know if I'm ready to see John and Rick. They're going to be jerks the entire night and I don't feel like spending it wanting to rip their faces off. It'll hurt you."
                          
This time he actually stands up and I fear he's going to leave right now and never look back. The overwhelming terror I feel is almost hilarious considering I never truly acknowledged how much I loved him.
                          
"What will hurt me is if you don't show up. You don't have to interact with John and Rick if you don't want to, but everyone will expect you to be there. And I want you there. So please," his voice grows gruff, almost as if he's holding back from yelling at me. "Come with me to the party."
                          
I try to look away from him but he captures my chin in his hand and brings my face closer to his. I know he's going to kiss me and my heart kicks into overdrive beating so hard it physically hurts. I only have two seconds before our lips connect and I don't know if I could handle it. Just as we're about to touch I wrench away from him.
                          
"Ok ok! I'll go with you to the party," I say breathlessly. Literally breathlessly because my coughing starts up again. Despite the satisfied look on his face at my acquiescence, his posture exudes slight disappointment that we didn't kiss.
                          
"Great! It's Saturday at 8. I'll pick you up around 7:30?" He asks, already heading for the door. All I can do is nod and then he's gone. I collapse onto the sofa as another wave of coughs hit me. I feel like I'm dying in more ways than one.
                          
Our near kiss was the closest we've ever gotten to anything intimate and I freaked out like a fucking ninny. I honestly would not be surprised if he stops trying to pursue me from now on. It would make sense and I wouldn't blame him. But once he's gone, I'll never get the chance to know what it feels like.
                          
To be loved by him.
                          
You need to tell him.
                          
I'm hit with the full weight of my thoughts. I need to tell him how I feel before Arsenal or Barcelona sweep him away and he's dragged into the high life full of beautiful women and fast cars. I need to tell him this Saturday.
                          
I need to tell him at the party.