A Summer To Think Pt. 1

                                        

                                                  
Summer has finished and soon will be time to get back to school.
I said that I would keep writing after camp, and truth is that it's been a month since summer camp ended. 
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I needed time. A lot of time to think before express, because I was not sure about my feelings. 
I went to the camp with the idea of forgetting you. It was really hard for me to go to that place where I saw you for the first and last time. 
Every time I passed trough that isle where I saw your smile for the first time, I felt shivers all over my body. 
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The first days I had a lot of fun. I made a lot of new friends and met with my old ones. But the last days, something not really comfortable happened inside of me. 
All those memories, all those sounds, even some people put me so sad one day. 
There was this guy, he was kinda cute. We started to talk and he was really nice. 
The last night of the camp there was this thing where guys invite a girl to take dinner with them. Nothing special to be honest; but I wanted to go with him. This day, he wanted to ask me something. "OMG! He's gonna ask me to dinner" I thought in my head, but I was wrong... 
"Would you mind if I invite your sister to the last-night dinner?" Those where his words.  
I felt really bad inside, but it was nothing new. I have always been the "cool-funny" sister, and my sisters the "pretty" ones. I mean I'm not ugly, and many people think I'm the cutest one, but when it comes to boys, I'm not. 
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I said that there was not problem, but my sister is just 12 years old. 
"Mmm she's to young... What about you? Do you already have a date? If you want, we can go together"
What am I!? He's second option? I got really angry and I didn't know what to say. "Whatever" I said and took a different way.
Many things happened in my head in that moment. You, him, my sisters, my relationship with God... What was happening with me. 
I just couldn't more. I started to shed tears so I ran to the restrooms. 
"Why?... Why is all of this happening to me? Why you? I'm tired of loving someone who doesn't even know of my experience..." I kept crying and groaning for some more minutes until I calmed down. I was decided. I would go to that place and say the words. And I did. 
I felt free, but a part of me was still there; in you. 
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That day, I felt the necessity of telling someone about you. I knew I wanted to keep you on secret, as I already say, but I couldn't anymore. Nowadays, 2 and a half persons know about you (a half because one of them didn't really listened) and I felt really good about telling them.
Days passed and summer camp was coming to the end. I end up going to the dinner with my friends and I think I had more fun that way.
The guy, now is my friend and he is one of the 2 1/2. He actually offered my his help to find you. The first month of summer ended well. But it is not over yet.
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