Chapter 10

                                    

                                              
I hate to admit it but yes the entire day I'd been thinking about how the ball would be like. Despite my efforts of pushing away my worries for the evening coming  a surge of questions would be buzzing in head. The last thing I wanted was to attend a ball with a very brooding and ignorant Adam Mathews but after yesterday attending the ball with a murderer filled me with a nauseous feeling. 
                          
I want to say that I don't believe in what William was saying and I want to say that I believe that Adam could never commit a graver sin but I've missed all those years from his life so I really don't know what to believe. I don't know what all those years have done to him. What all those years have made him into. Neither do I know what I'll do or say when I see him today; what can you say to someone who's rumoured to have killed an innocent girl?
                          
Not much effort was made by me for the ball. Aunt Valerie was kind to lend me her grey dress with sequenced pattern around the neckline that hugged my body in all the correct places. The dress bared my back too much for me to like but what can one do? The dress was gorgeous. So I decided to leave my curled hair hanging loose to provide some coverage at least. To look presentable I put on minimal make up necessary to cover any traces of the sleepless night I had and to cover how unprepared I was for the evening ahead of me.
                          
It was never actually mentioned how we will make our way to the ball so when aunt Valery asked for me to come down, to say I was mildly shocked to see Adam standing in the doorway in a black tux would be an understatement. His long curly hair was combed to the side and he looked clean shaven. His look gave a clear sense of nonchalance yet a certain effortless elegance which only my Adam can pull off. 
                          
My Adam?!
                          
Where did that come from?
                          
His eyes held mine for a moment in which I forgot where I was and remembered the times we had. Recovering from the shock, I willed myself not to trip and cause any embarrassing scenes, keeping my eyes to the floor. Aunt Valery however ignored my reluctance to talk and started to make jokes to which I gave a tight lipped smile. Before she could begin the start of another I quickly interjected and reminded her of the ball we were about to go to; she gave an apologetic smile and kissed my forehead saying "you look beautiful Liana!", before waving us goodbye.
                          
It hadn't occurred to me how we were going to get there as I was more than occupied with dealing with the situation at hand. Me going to the ball with a guy whom I considered my best friend up until the point when he expressed that he doesn't want anything to do with me via a letter! You see how that could mess with a girls head right?  
                          
Anyway so when he lead up to a black Volvo and took the drivers seat, I stood there for a moment wondering for some explanation. I mean I didn't need an invitation to get inside the car but a motion or a gesture would've been fine.
                          
"Well aren't you going to get in then? Are you waiting for me to carry you?" 
                          
His voice was low and gritty yet sounding extremely annoying not to mention sarcastic. 
                          
I gritted my teeth and shot the deadliest of glares to which he surprisingly looked away.
                          
Yes! 
                          
I was not going to waste my breath. I was going to stay calm. And I was going to get through the night. This turned into a little silent chant for me on the ride to the Ball and I wasn't blessed with any sarcastic comments from Adam, though I did feel his gaze on me from time to time. It couldn't have taken more than 15 mins for us to get there as there weren't many cars around; I forgot how small this town was.
                          
Adam got out of the car first and started to walk off towards the hall leaving a very surprised and angry me behind. Quickly I too got off and followed in suit, picking up the dress to allow me to walk faster. Once I was close enough I tugged his hand and he turned to face me with a pained look on his face. Was I holding on to his hand that tight? Or was it the mere sight of me that caused him to look this pained?
                          
I abandoned his hand and spoke up quickly before he had the chance to leave again.
                          
"Listen to me okay? I don't care if you've don't have the decency to hold the door open for a girl and neither do I care that you've left a girl behind who's struggling to walk with a dress like like on a wet night like this! I don't care if you can't be a gentleman! But please do not create a scene today. I came to this unwillingly and I hope it isn't more unpleasant than I assume it will be!"
                          
My words hung in the air for a while and I noticed couple entering the Ball from the corner of my eyes. I hadn't intended for my outburst to be that long or even to sound like an outburst but there it is...
                          
Adam stood there for a minute, whether he was thinking of something to say, or planning his nearest getaway, I wouldn't know but it would've seemed rather peaceful if I wasn't under his excruciating glare. Without any signs Adam grabbed my hand and pulled to the side of a car so I was leaning on it with him towering over me. I didn't know where this was leading and I couldn't think of a way to stop it. 
                          
When I had my senses back I made a move to leave when he blocked my way with his hand pushed against both side of me. 
                          
I was cornered. 
                          
And he was incredibly close to me. 
                          
I could feel his breath on my cheek and shuddered under his trap as he moved more and more closer to me. His face was now close to my ears and he whispered so quietly that I could barely hear.
                          
"Firstly, if you didn't care about those things, you would've hardly mention the to me. And it wasn't I who created a scene back there, it was you, darling." 
                          
He stretched out the last word and as he did so he looked straight in my eyes as if searching  for something and I couldn't help but look back, look back at the face which I missed and yearned for so much all those years. But he quickly averted his eyes and pulled back, standing a little further away. This sudden aloofness made me feel as if the last few seconds hadn't existed at all.
                          
With all my effort I stood up straight and looked at the direction of the hall. No one seemed to be outside the door anymore and have made their way inside, leaving us the only ones standing around catching our breath in the night air. 
                          
I turned to Adam to suggest we made our way to the Ball but before I could open my mouth, his hand snaked around my waist, making me slightly jump. He pulled me close until the distance between us disappeared, leaving me uncertain and dazed. I looked up in search of any explanation to see him smirk in my direction with a glint in his eyes, a sign of pure mischief, before speaking in a clear manner,"let me show you how much of a gentleman I am."
                          
With that he began walking towards the hall, clutching to my waist, leaving me speechless and lost like all those years ago.
                          
But the question is will I let myself go through that again?
                          
Do I have a choice?