The Nonsense Farmer

                                    

                                              
 There was a man lived in Blicket Bload
                          
In a farm right down Yackity Road
                          
He had twenty acres of rich land

                          
Where he grazed ten pickety pand
                          
Eight nickety nous, four hackety hees
                          
And a rackty ripe with nobbly knees
                          
The only problem with his own flock
                          
Was that they always got themselves stuck
                          
The nickety nous are furry and pink
                          
They really love to drink and to drink
                          
They have long tails and a little snout
                          
To suck up water and the occasional trout
                          
The problem with one nickety nou
                          
Is he drank so much water he was stuck in a shoe
                          
He puffed up so big and squeezed in the toes
                          
But when he moved he was wedged with his nose
                          
Sticking out of the hole where your feet go
                          
To get out, the water he had to blow
                          
Over the fence into the neighbour's garden
                          
Then pop round and say to them 'pardon!'
                          
Next farmer went to check his hackety hees
                          
But you'll never guess, they were all up in trees
                          
Now the hackety hee is a ground dwelling fellow
                          
About cow sized and all over yellow
                          
With the odd spot of green on their bum
                          
They tend to really stick with their mum
                          
To climb up a tree is mostly unheard
                          
That domain was made for a bird
                          
But something had given them quite a fright
                          
For they had been staying in the trees all night
                          
They were shaking and shivering, too scared to come down
                          
Across their long faces they all wore a frown
                          
He had to grab their favourite food
                          
A strange looking vegetable called a klood
                          
Each was thin and bendy and blue
                          
Sticky and sappy and dripping with goo
                          
The hackety hees jumped straight for their treat
                          
Completing their descent with an incredibly feat
                          
Of twisting and turning within the air
                          
Within just a moment they were now there
                          
Stood on the grass munching so fast
                          
That those poor kloods just would not last
                          
They charged at the farmer baying for more
                          
It was such a haste they knocked him to the floor
                          
They pleaded and pleaded with their clacking sound
                          
But poor old farmer was not waiting around
                          
He charged and he fled away from the place
                          
It was almost as if he was in new a race
                          
To get as far from his animals as he could
                          
At least at this he really was good
                          
Next he came for the rackty ripe
                          
But he could not find him try as he might
                          
He looked at the field and up the mountain
                          
He looked in the bins and in the fountain
                          
He looked in his favourite spot by the stream
                          
And tried to coax him with scones and cream
                          
He looked up in despair to a great height
                          
And there was rackty ripe stuck in a pipe
                          
How did he get all the way up there?
                          
He must have climbed 'cos there was no stair
                          
How to get it out, where could he go
                          
There was no doubt, he would have to blow
                          
The farmer bent over and drew in some air
                          
Then blew through the pipe with considerable care
                          
At first nothing happened so he had to blow more
                          
Then out flew racty ripe with a terrible roar
                          
He arched over the house and field back yonder
                          
Making a noise louder than thunder
                          
He hit the barn with an ear splitting crash
                          
And on into the pond with a great splash
                          
He left a hole in the barn the shape of his body
                          
The pond was now all dirty and muddy
                          
The fish had been flung almost half of a mile
                          
To get back to their home would be quite a trial
                          
The farmer was happy another animal was free
                          
But there was one left to complete his spree
                          
He ran to his collection of pickety pand
                          
But luckily for him they were very bland
                          
They had fur of beige and no spots at all
                          
They did not get stuck or lost or fall
                          
There they still were grazing in the field
                          
With one whistle blow they did all yield
                          
And came to the farmer all faces a beaming
                          
With joy and love their whole bodies were teaming
                          
He gave the group a hug, one mass of fur
                          
And like a large cat they let out a big purr
                          
From these he wished the others would learn
                          
For at least the pickety pand were not a concern